Holding Up the Universe by Jennifer Niven

"I know what you're thinking- if you hate it so much and it's such a burden, just lose the weight, and then that job will go away. But I'm comfortable where I am. I may lose more weight. I may not. But why should what I weigh affect other people? I mean, unless I'm sitting on them, who cares?"

Jennifer Niven's All the Bright Places was the first book I read last year, and it was totally fantastic. It also made me sob and cry so much. So. Much. Crying. I can still think of the book even now and start to tear up. Granted, I cry very easily and am experiencing an attack of hormones at the moment, but still. The book resonates.

This brings us to Niven's newest book, Holding Up the Universe. It's alternately narrated by two teenagers, Libby and Jack. Libby used to be the world's fattest teenager. The tipping point came when she had a panic attack and the paramedics had to destroy her house to get her out. Now, she has lost half of her body weight and is about to attend regular school for the first time in years.

Jack seems normal, but he recently realized that he has prosopagnosia. This is a condition where a person cannot recognize faces, even faces of family and friends. This condition caused him to hook up with his girlfriend's cousin (They are physically very similar). If that wasn't enough, Jack also recently discovered that his dad is cheating on his mom with one of the teachers at his school.

Libby's return to school doesn't go very well. She reunited with her old friend Bailey, and befriends fellow large girl Iris. Most of the other kids stare, point, and laugh. Even though Libby isn't as fat as she was, she's still the fattest girl in school. She dreams of being accepted, of joining the school's dance team. A cruel prank puts her in Jack's path, and leads to the two of them being forced to attend detention/counseling. Libby and Jack start to bond. They even sort of like-like each other! He even tells her about his prosopagnosia, and she encourages him to seek help. Their relationship is really sweet and adorable, though there are some challenges and rocky times before the end.

Holding Up the Universe was very good, pretty much just as good as All the Bright Things. Thankfully, it was less emotionally devastating. That isn't to say that I didn't cry, because I almost always cry. I also laughed and swooned a fair bit. As a fellow big girl, it was nice to read about an overweight character. Libby was bold and extroverted, basically the opposite of me. I love her positive attitude and her fearlessness. Jack sometimes acted like a dumb guy, but was really sweet. He was great with his younger brother. There was a little subplot where the brother used to carry a purse to school, and some kids broke the strap. Jack was just so sweet and supportive. It's a nice story about accepting other people and their differences, about bullying and how we should not do that, and also a sweet and funny romance. So, you should read it.

I received my copy of Holding Up the Universe from Edelweiss, courtesy of Knopf Books for Young Readers. It's available for purchase now.

All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

"I learned that there is good in this world, if you look hard enough for it. I learned that not everyone is disappointing, including me, and that a 1,257-foor bump in the ground can feel higher than a bell tower if you're standing next to the right person..."

My 2015 reading started off with a crying session. All the Bright Places really brought the emotions. I was a little bit afraid to read it, but I'm very glad that I did.

The book begins when the two main characters meet on their school's bell tower. Theodore Finch is the troubled outcast, so it seems perfectly natural that he is up there. Violet Markey dated the golden boy and socialized with the popular kids. Her life seems perfect. Finch ends up talking her down off the ledge. He also lets her take credit for saving him so that nobody knows the real reason she was up there.

It's been almost a year since the car accident that killed Violet's sister, Eleanor. She is afraid to drive or even ride in a car. She refuses to write again, afraid that she is betraying the webzine she made with her sister.

Their Geography teacher assigns them a project to visit the unique sites in their home state of Indiana. Finch immediately picks Violet as his partner. Throughout the beginning of the book, she doesn't really like him much. He is trying to insert himself into her life, but she is resistant because of what her classmates might think and because she wants to forget about the bell tower incident.

Finch is very persistent and persuasive. He sets up a Facebook for the sole purpose of befriending Violet, and they end up exchanging Virginia Woolf quotes. They go on wanderings for their project, and Finch ends up getting her to ride in his van, even gets her to write their project journal. In return, she made Finch want to be better and try harder to control himself, to be good enough for her.

Theodore Finch really is a troubled young man. His mother works two jobs and doesn't pay enough attention to him or his sisters. His father is busy with the new family he abandoned them for, and he is also an abusive asshole. Finch changes his personality every now and then, from badass Finch to homeless Finch to nerd Finch. He is a liar and has very violent outbursts (Thankfully never around Violet). Throughout the book, he is afraid of going to sleep again. Not actual sleep, but the sleep-like state he had been in before the events of the book. As Finch himself said:

"But I'm not a compilation of symptoms. Not a casualty of shitty parents and an even shittier chemical makeup. Not a problem. Not a diagnosis. Not an illness. Not something to be rescued. I'm a person..."

Finch was also very endearing. He did such sweet things like wash the dishes for his tired mother and run three miles in the snow to get flowers for Violet. He was funny and charming, and I loved him. At first, I was terrified that Violet was going to hurt him. Then I realized that he might hurt her just as much. I just wanted both of those kids to be together and happy.

I have never been so afraid to read the ending to a book before. This isn't a horror story, but it is absolutely terrifying. You definitely need a box of tissues.

I received my copy of All the Bright Places from Edelweiss, courtesy of Knopf. It's available for purchase now.