Friday, May 13, 2011

Love You to Death by Melissa Senate

When did Abby Foote's life become an episode of Law & Order?

Abby has a terrible track record with boyfriends. As the book opens, her current boyfriend just leaves her at a Land's End when they were supposed to be attending her nephew's bris. The dude just freaks out about a baby circumcising party. Of course, everyone at the party is all, "Abby knows how to pick them!"

Granted, Abby's boyfriends suck. One tackled her so that she wouldn't catch the bouquet at her half-sister's wedding, subsequently breaking her aunt's ankle. The worst of them all brought his cousin Mary to Abby's birthday party. They were found engaged in a sexual act in Abby's bed. Soon after her Land's End abandonment, Abby spots ex Tom's engagement announcement to his not-really-cousin Mary, whose name is actually Kate. Then Tom turns up dead, and Abby is a suspect.

Detective Benjamin Orr is investigating Abby. Coincidentally, he is also her secret high school crush. She has these full-on hallucinations about him. I'm embarrassed for her. Two more ex-boyfriends report attempts on their lives near the time they broke up with Abby. Her co-workers are super nice so that she won't ax murder them. She even gets a promotion and vacation out of the deal. With all her whining about how her life is falling apart, it's not difficult to say that Abby isn't very sympathetic. She's supposed to be this everygirl. "I was awkward and invisible in high school." "I'm short and have unattractive brown hair." "The policeman assigned to investigate my murder case won't just date me!"

Love Me to Death is some sort of unholy union between chick lit and mystery. It was addictive and readable, but I spent most of my time rolling my eyes at Abby. There's a blurb on the last page that says to look out for the second Abby Foote mystery next year. The book was published in 2007, and no sequel was released. I feel embarrassed for Ms. Senate.

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